Wednesday, February 8, 2012

'What did I do Wrong?'

I ashamed to admit that I began watching this season of The Bachelor.  This was never a show I had gotten into and I can still give you two handfuls of reasons why it's ridiculous and not worth watching...but, I'm still watching.

In one of the more recent episodes (I don't have TV where I live, so I have to watch everything later than it airs), I remember two women having to leave the show.  One was in the middle of a date and the other was at the end of the rose ceremony.  They both said something that made my heart sad...

"What did I do wrong?" ... spoken through tears and snot and hiccups.

I think we often go through life, especially when it comes to romantic interests, afraid of doing things 'wrong'.  When and if things don't work out, we immediately question what we could have done differently, what we could have done better.

We drive ourselves crazy, recreating every scenario, every conversation, every action--and wondering if we had done or said something differently that maybe the outcome might have been different.

Maybe for a little while longer, sure.  Maybe.
But, ultimately... I don't think so.

A few years back I watched a couple break up and get back together... over and over again...and then eventually stay together.  She was insanely jealous and he wasn't able to stand being in a relationship where trust didn't exist... but he wasn't able to stand being away from her either.  I remember thinking that as crazy as she was, he just loved her. He was going to do whatever it took to be with her.  I remember finding a lot of hope in that.  It didn't matter if she did a slue of 'wrong' things, he was going to choose to keep loving her. And she was going to do the same for him. It's quite beautiful, really.

Instead of constantly berating ourselves when things don't go the way we hope, let's just let it go. Let's move on and accept that, this time, it's not meant to be.  And let's keep walking, remembering that someday, for whatever crazy reason, some guy is going to keep choosing to love us no matter what we do 'wrong'.

Take hope today, dear ones.
There is much to be found.

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1 comment:

  1. This is very true, how important it is to move on and let go. At the same time how hard a task that is to do! It at times becomes a cycle that just needs to be broken. Thanks for your words.

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