Sometimes I'm so angry, betrayed, and hurt I feel like I can't see straight. In those moments I long to tell the world of all the injustices done to me. In those moments I feel like I have every right to live out of my hurt and bitterness. In those moments I feel justified.
And then a calm voice gently whispers in my ear. It's a voice that I want to shake...a voice that I want to get rid of like I do an aggravating fly that won't stop swarming around your head, no matter what you do. But the voice returns...over and over again.
"Forgive, as I have forgiven you."
I struggle with knowing what that means sometimes. Does it mean life returns to normal, no matter the offense? Is it a state of mind? A condition of the heart? And even if I'm capable of forgiving, could I possibly ever forget? I wish I could.
Instead I find a daily battle before me. A battle of choosing life over death. I realize I am incapable on my own. I'm incapable of ever offering pardon from the crimes committed against me. Because you've betrayed me, you've wounded me...and my scars remain.
I remember one Sunday morning this past summer worshipping with the camp community. The song slowly punctured my heart.
Let no one caught in sin remainInside the lie of inward shameWe fix our eyes upon the crossAnd run to Him who showed great loveAnd bled for usFreely You've bled for usI found myself weeping in the back of the room.
Who was I to pass judgement?
Who was I to condemn?
Who was I to hold such grievance when it had so clearly already been forgiven?
Aware of my own trespasses and iniquities, I must daily surrender my unforgiving heart. Christ has conquered all...the glory of God has defeated the night!
As I claim these truths over my own soul, I can only declare the same be true for those who have left the scars. There is no one beyond forgiveness--but without Christ, I an incapable of living in the freedom of what that means.
Do I still struggle with what it means to forgive? Absolutely.
But I believe it's right, I believe it's something we've been commanded to do, I believe it's something worth fighting for.
And if someone knows just a little bit more about the love of Christ because of the tangible way I can choose to forgive them? I'll do it over and over and over again. No matter the cost. I must.
Because people are worth it... despite what they've done to us.
They are forgiven. As we've been forgiven.
Jesus, on the cross, means we are forgiven. Jesus, rising again, means we are forgiven.
We are one with Him again.
Will you join me in fighting for forgiveness today?
Will you join me in extending second chances to others today?
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