In high school I remember getting ready in the morning and feeling highly confident about my appearance. The perfect amount of make-up would be applied, hair lustrously tousled, outfit adjusted...and out the door I'd go. It wasn't until the middle of first or second block when I'd dart to the bathroom and catch a glimpse of myself in the fluorescent lighting of the school's public bathrooms that I'd balk at my reflection and wonder how I'd left the house looking that way.
Ever been there?
It's funny, because I'd spend those first few hours of school truly feeling good about myself and how I looked. I felt like boys were turning their head when I walked by, I felt like I was worth something, I felt like I mattered.
And then, in an instant, it was stripped from me. I'd leave the bathroom feeling assaulted. My head tucked to hide my painted face, my hair pulled back in a pony to maintain the frizz, and a jacket to cover any unnatural lumps. I was a fraud...and sometimes the more effort I spent on trying to mask my true identity, the more clownish I felt.
It didn't always go down that way. Sometimes the assault took place as I peered at myself in the mirrors along with my other classmates while we practiced our dances for show choir. Sometimes it happened in the locker room while I desperately tried to keep all private parts of my body covered in the process of changing in and out of my bathing suit and other girls dilly dallied around me, confidently nude. Sometimes it happened when something was said in jest, but directed my way. Sometimes it happened when I saw myself in a picture. Regardless of how it happened, it always happened. Sometimes it still happens.
I actually would never leave my bedroom without wearing make-up. Having acne as bad as I did as a teenager really messes you up. I was convinced, even after the medicine, the dry skin and eventually somewhat clear skin, that all anyone saw when they looked at me was every deformity on my face. During my first year of college I would sometimes sleep in my make-up because in the dorm setting you never know who might barge into your room in the middle of the night. There were even times I felt like my face was too hideous for even my roommate to be exposed to.
My first summer at camp gave me freedom from this bondage. Freedom only because the nature of my job proved impossible to maintain even the best make-up. No foundation could withhold the sweating and swimming I was doing on a daily basis. So, I gave it up.
And a new confidence formed.
I realized I didn't need to cover myself up. I didn't need to hide. People still wanted to hang out with me! People still enjoyed being around me! Who knew?
Today I want to encourage to take a step back from the mirror. Instead examining every small 'defect'--every zit, every wrinkle, every chin hair, every unplucked eyebrow, every spot, every freckle, every angle...
Step back, and take in the fullness of you, just as you were created to be.
Wash your make-up off... all of it.
Face the world today without hiding behind any mask.
I pray that today would be a day where you feel good about yourself. Not because you're highly confident about your appearance... but because you're highly confident in the Creator who made all things good.
You're worth it.
You matter.
Let's not be assaulted today.
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