I've been thinking a bit lately about things we deserve. Or... just the idea that we think we deserve anything at all. We find ourselves in situations where we are convinced we have deserved something and when we don't get it, we feel slighted, we feel gypped, we feel betrayed. On the flip side, when something bad happens to us we immediately wonder what we did to deserve such a travesty.
Do I deserve happiness?
That's what everything around us tells us, right? That we deserve to be happy, we deserve relationships that are fulfilling to us, we deserve to be treated well. We don't deserve bad things, we don't deserve to be hurt, we don't deserve suffering.
Do we deserve or not deserve these things based purely on the fact that we are human beings? Do we deserve them because we have earned them? Have I done something in my years of living to get me to a place where I now deserve better than I would if I hadn't done particular things? Does someone else deserve less because of what they have or haven't done?
The idea of deserving seems to be wrapped up in selfishness. This idea that I deserve more than what I have right now. The very nature of deserving makes us feel as though we have a right to it, we have a claim to it... but do we?
This typically plays out in a very worldly and practical matter, which causes us to often neglect the spiritual realm.
The reality: I deserve death... because I am a sinner. Every day, I choose to sin. But because of Christ, every day I am saved from death, from eternal damnation.
I wonder what life might look like if instead of living each day as though I deserve something better than what I have... if I lived life as though I've been saved from death, from sin, from despair, from hopelessness. What would it look like if we lived in the true grace of not getting what we deserve?
Isn't that enough?
...and yet we still prance around expecting more, claiming our 'right' for more, and being angry and hurt when we don't always get more.
Perhaps life isn't really about our happiness at all. Perhaps our focus is off. Perhaps we don't deserve anything we've been given. Perhaps we need to remember what that is.
You tell me.
You tell me.
I agree. So often I think "why am I going through this, I am running after Jesus. I don't understand." but the fact is, I should be suffering so much more because I'm a nasty sinner but because of Gods grace, I don't. Thanks for reminding me how thankful i should be even in the hard times because I deserve so much more!
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