silence.

Sometimes the silence terrifies me.

Sometimes the silence beckons me.

In the silence, I think we often get asked the questions. 

Questions that are terrifying because we are scared of our answers. 

Questions that are beckoning because ultimately want to know the answers.  We need to know them.

Questions. 

I imagine if this post were composed entirely of questions (and I realize that I ask far more questions than I will ever answer)…I think we, as humans, would have a tendency to skim over them.  I think we don’t want to really think about this stuff… because it’s hard.  It requires self-examination….and the possibility that the results aren’t what we’d like for them to be are high. 

So we ignore.  We run.  We distract.  We skim. 

He is speaking to you…He is speaking to you about who you are, about who He has created you to be.  Will you listen?  Will you take the time to be still and to allow Him to penetrate your heart to the very core of your being? 

What are you scared of?  Will He ask you to change?  Will He ask you to move? To act in a way that requires selflessness, that requires stepping out of your comfort zone? 

There’s this radical transformation that is possible in each of us.  I'm holding back, too.  I think it’s because I'm scared.  I'm scared of what He will ask of me…I'm scared of what that will really mean for my life.  If I am to abandon all to Him, what will I have to give up? 

Several years ago, I went out for a run which eventually led me up one of the larger hills at camp.  For some reason I thought it would be a grand idea to try sprinting up this hill.  I made it about halfway, realized I was too much out of shape to keep attempting this battle, and I sat down on a large rock.  It wasn’t long before I felt the need to take the headphones out of my ears and listen. 

As I sat, I felt a breeze encompassing me.  I knew I wasn’t alone.  In the silence, I heard His voice.  He asked me two simple questions….which really weren’t so simple at all.

His first question to me was, “Am I enough?” 

My first reaction was, “Of course! Father, of course you are enough..” but as I sat there longer, I knew the search of the depths of my heart was already in affect.  I knew I was a liar.  I knew that deep within, while I could acknowledge with my mouth that all I needed was Jesus Christ, that I didn’t actually believe it. 

In humility and brokenness before the Lord, I shamefully admitted my real answer, “No, Lord…no.  I don’t believe you are enough.”

He asked His next question.  “Will you let me be enough?”

It was almost as if He were saying, “Dear child, will you let me be enough for you?  Will you stop searching and agonizing and giving yourself to the things in this world that will never fill you?  Will you trust that I AM? Will you trust that I have your best interest in mind?  Will you trust that I love you more deeply than anything you can possibly imagine?”

I couldn’t answer His question that day.  I couldn’t bring myself to tell Him yes; but I couldn’t possibly imagine saying no.  I'm still wrestling with this question. 

What’s He asking you?

What’s the question that plagues you in the silence?

Have you even taken time for the silence?

Today is Saturday… I don’t know what your plans are, but I urge you to take time to exist in the silence. Be still.  Wait on the Lord.  And then answer His questions… honestly.

May we be refined as we come to terms with where we really are, instead of constantly evading it.

Make the time today.

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