Dance, Sing, Live.

I like dancing.

But it's never one of those things that I proudly exclaim a love for... in fact, I feel like I can equate it to picking your nose. Most all of us do it, but we don't like to admit it. We fear what others think if they knew or, worse yet, caught us in the act. Humiliation.

So, while I like dancing...I also hate to admit that I do. I've found that upon revealing such a thing, people expect one of two things from you: (1) to always want to dance any time there's an opportunity or (2) that you're good at dancing. Pressure builds.

There's a list of other things that I enjoy that I probably fear sharing with the world- and I wonder how many of you do the same thing. How many of you hide certain desires or hobbies simply because of the expectation that comes with them?

I like singing, too. And while I sing 75% of what I actually say, I very rarely will attempt to really sing in front of others-- even when it's karaoke time. 'Cause what happens when you give it your all and it's still not impressive?

I want affirmation.
I want people to tell me that I'm good. I want people to tell me that they notice me. I want my work, my accomplishments, my abilities to be acknowledged. Don't we all?

I've been trying to dig deeper though--to dig deeper through the need for affirmation to find the root. What am I really longing for when I admit this need for others to speak value into me? It unveils an insecurity, a lack of confidence.

The silly part (and those who know me can attest) is that even when you try to affirm me, it's never good enough. I'm never satisfied with your words or encouragement... because the reality is that something bigger is still missing.

I've grown weary of this. I've grown weary because these insecurities create misery...and if I'm insecure in everything, I'm eventually miserable in everything. Something has to change. There's a joy that must be discovered, a confidence that longs to surface, and a hope of something greater. A hope of second chances...

I wonder if we took it a step at a time.
If today I allowed myself to dance. To really dance.
Maybe tomorrow, I could find my voice and really sing.
Maybe the next day do something else that I find myself holding back in, instead of being fearful of what others might say or think about me.

The point?
Being truly satisfied with who I am... with who I've been created to be, quirkiness and all.
A step at a time, dwelling in grace and the truth that God loves me just as I am.

Let's let that be enough today.

Go let the world see something about you that you've been hiding...
and may we find joy in the freedom of not holding anything back!

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