Brokenness

My oldest brother commented on one of my more recent blogs, and I'm reminded that I have much to learn. I don't have all the answers...and I'm struggling daily to remember the hope of second chances for myself even as I long for you to embrace that truth, too. Thanks for journeying with me. 

One segment of what my brother wrote stuck out to me in particular, as I believe it raises an interesting point: 

In Christian "pop culture" we talk about being broken as if it was a good thing - we say that God is breaking us so that he can rebuild us. I think there is some truth to the idea - although I think we sometimes toss the terms out there without really believing the "breaking" is necessary. Sometimes we just want the sympathy :) I guess I think transformation is what we really want....

I remember coming back from a summer at camp and staying at a friend's house on the journey back to Missouri from Texas. His dad asked me what I had learned most that summer and I remember my response being about brokenness. I longed for brokenness. I felt that in my brokenness there would be a rawness, a realness, an authenticity that I couldn't muster without being shattered...because as long as some part of me still existed, I felt unable to tear myself away from pride and selfishness. 


Is brokenness a good thing though? Or is it simply a necessary thing? 
Is it something that the Lord desires...or is it something that's simply required as transformation ensues? 


My friend's dad challenged me in this. A look of concern came over his face as I told him I was begging to be broken... and I think I get it now. I get that that's not what it's about. I get that that's not what I need to long for. I get how it can be this term we use without really understanding what it means, without really believing the severity of pain and despair that comes with brokenness. 


Brokenness sucks--and I wouldn't wish it upon anyone. If you've known brokenness, you know what I'm talking about. But, in the brokenness there's often the rebuilding...and transformation comes about. 


I see what my brother said to be true--that we talk about brokenness as though it's a good thing...but it's not. Perhaps it's sometimes the means to an end, but it seems a bit masochistic to wish this upon ourselves.
So what if, instead of brokenness, we prayed for transformation. 

We can't just rip of the band-aid in one quick, painful stroke. We need to be transformed - and not by our own effort, but by someone outside of ourselves. We were shaped by a force greater than any individual, and our transformation requires an even greater power to correct it.  -My Bro

I don't think the Lord desires brokenness. I think it pains Him to watch us undergo such things...but sometimes it's what's necessary. I think He desires transformation...that He desires us to be willing to change. 


One passage that I think is referred to a lot in terms of brokenness is in Hosea 6... and it's in response to Israel's unrepentant heart.

Come, let us return to the LORD. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds. After two days he will revive us; on the third day he will restore us, that we may live in his presence. 

Perhaps brokenness is the result of an unrepentant heart returning, not an obedient one earnestly seeking Him? 


Regardless, it would seem that brokenness isn't the end goal. 
Transformation is. 


Don't strive for brokenness.  Strive for a newness in Him...and newness that can only come about through Christ and how He heals, revives and restores so we may live in His presence. 

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