Have you ever wanted to date a musician simply because he was a musician?
...I have.
There was always something dreamy about the thought of sitting in a crowded room, watching my man perform, and knowing that he would be directing all of his romantic lyrics toward me as his voice melted the room. There was always something appealing about knowing he could privately serenade me and that he would be all mine and I would be all his. There was the hope that we could even perform together, if not enjoy belting harmonious ditties on long car rides.
It became such an important fantasy to me that any time I saw/heard a talented man performing or leading worship I immediately gauged the following things:
1. How old is he?
2. Is he single? (I got really great at checking for that wedding ring)
3. How good is he?
4. How attractive is he? (Usually the more talented they were, the less this mattered... )
Between my involvement in show choir and musicals, Christian organizations, and my brothers' activity within the realm of theatre and music I felt as though there was a wide array of talented Christian men that should want to date me. For a while, it became my only concern. I had to marry a musical man.
For a while I half convinced myself that one guy did want me. He'd often play the song Everybody But You by Dave Barnes. After listening to the lyrics a few times, I began to wonder if he only played it around me and if he was trying to send me a secret message through the lyrics: 'Everybody knows it here but you...I love you girl but you still ain't got a clue'. I probably hoped he was...
It's ridiculous looking back on it now...
But, I can't help but wonder how much we let our fantasies determine the men we find ourselves willing to date.
It took me a while to realize that while the appearance of a talented musician was especially alluring, there's a whole person that's necessary to get to know. While a man may have a beautiful voice, be an incredible athlete, be super intelligent, be crazily charismatic, or simply be gorgeous... there is much more to him than that. Much more that matters more.
The luster wore off and I realized that behind the voice on stage there always lies a man... a human man. A man with problems and sin and pride and selfishness and whatever other quirks you don't always catch in their 15 minutes of glory. I could now never marry a man simply because he was a musician.
Just be wary of the men you throw yourselves at, the men you think you would "never turn down" because of their social status, their attractiveness, or their abilities. Be willing to look at their heart and ask the questions that really matter.
Does he love Jesus? (don't forget that even if he loves Jesus, he won't do this perfectly...)
Does he love others? Does his life reflect one of self-sacrifice or self-exaltation?
What eternally matters...?
His voice, his good looks, his athleticism, his brains, his humor, his artistic ability, his style...or his heart, his character, his integrity, his honesty, his humility...?
Ultimately, I suppose you get to decide... I just urge you to think twice. And I urge you to honor the men who happen to be incredibly talented and gifted at various things. I imagine they'd like to be known before you determine that they're the one you're supposed to marry simply because they are good at something. I imagine many of them want someone who is going to love them even when they are old, gray, fat, losing their mind, cracky and shaky.
Be a woman of integrity and honor--one who is willing to look past the superficial and temporary. Be willing to give other guys a chance...and you just might be surprised by the beauty that lies within.
...what a difference a shift in perspective can make...
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Ah so so so true and wise. Literally was thinking about this the day you posted it. So good.
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