Back seat of a car.
A guy from the bar.
One-night-stand.
Glamorous, right?
When you hear things like this, you often fail to picture the real scene that probably goes with it. Perhaps it's better that way... but perhaps it reveals how desensitized to it we've become.
When a girl I know told me this piece of her story, my stomach hurt. She was 23 years old and had been saving herself for marriage. That night she gave up. She gave up because she felt like no one would ever come along and it was pointless to wait any longer. She was curious, a little tipsy...and he was eager.
While it wasn't my story, I remember feeling the heartache as if it were my own. Because, while I hadn't forged through the actual act of sexual intercourse, I knew her feelings of hopelessness and how easy it was to get lost in the abyss of feeling like it would never work out. I knew regret, and I didn't want that for her.
She had been hurt. Hurt by the 'good' guys. Her frail heart put a false conclusion together that the pain she was experiencing meant that she undeserving of 'good' guys...so why not hook up this once? Why not try it?
I hate that some of you reading can identify with this. You've been here. This is part of your story, too.
She met her husband a few months later. He was a 'good' guy. Not too long into dating, when things started to get serious, this 'good' guy struggled to get over the fact that his soon-to-be wife was not a virgin.
Classic story, right? It's the one you hear all the time growing up... only, this was this girl's reality.
I'm not going to paint some picture of you of a girl holding a flower that's had all of it's petals plucked off and now she has a petal-less flower to offer to her husband someday (although, I think there's a quite a lot of validity to the now-cheesy metaphor)...
But I am going to ask you to look at the ways you may be compromising yourself. In what ways have you given up and so you've thought, 'Oh Well' and done something you never dreamed you might...?
Maybe it is sex...
Maybe it's compromising on all the physical stuff other than sex... maybe you're going around making out with a wide assortment of men because you can and because you think it doesn't matter. Maybe it's just a few hand jobs or oral sex. Maybe it's through the revealing clothes that you're wearing every day, hoping to turn guys' heads when you walk by...
Is it working?
Do you feel better?
Is the emptiness gone?
Has your hope been restored?
Maybe it has nothing to do with compromising sexually. Maybe you're compromising through your words-- the ways that you talk badly about people to make yourself look better, the ways that you manipulate and lie to come out on top. Maybe you're compromising in the way that you're starving yourself, or throwing up all your food, or exercising like a mad-woman.
I think we've gotten really good at throwing out the line, "Oh, I don't have any regrets. If I didn't go through all the things I have, I wouldn't be the person I am today..." Sure... sure, that's fine. I get it. I feel the same way sometimes... but, honestly? Honestly, there are some things I wish I could take back. There are some things I wish I could do over. There are some regrets.
Examine your life right now.
Examine your heart.
Are you compromising?
Have you given up hope?
Are you thinking, 'What the hell, it doesn't matter anyway?'
It does matter.
You will regret it.
Live a life of integrity and purity today, sweet girls.
There's much to hope for.
Don't give up. Not today.
If you feel like it's too late, please contact me and let's talk. I've been there.
I have regrets.
There are second chances.
Praise Jesus.
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