A college minister asked us this in a leadership meeting several years back. We were supposed to write down our answers.
I remember viciously scribbling down answers, as though the time on the clock would never be enough to allow me to remember everything I wanted to. My list ranged from a bazillion pet peeves and quickly full-circled to the things about myself that I couldn't stand.
I got real specific as I logged my every imperfection: my too frizzy hair, my nub of a middle finger, my sometimes too brash honesty, my finger toes, my selfishness, my fear of talking to strangers, my hairiness, etc., etc., etc.
As our allotted time to write came to an end I came to a harsh and ugly truth about my list.
As much as I hated all these things about me, I still loved myself more than everyone else.
In the midst of my absolute self-loathing (over some really ridiculous things), I still knew that I mattered to me more than anyone else. Even the very nature of self-loathing somehow reveals this selfishness that exists so deeply within me.
It's interesting... because the Christian faith teaches to love God, love others, love ourselves (the I'm Third mentality). We're supposed to be last, right? But Jesus tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves. Hmmm...
Somehow I think we miss that last part a lot. We say 'love God, love others'...but what happens when you throw in that 'as yourself' part?
It changes things in a multitude of ways. It changes things because as much as I can hate myself, I can still love myself. Can we do that with others- hate them AND love them simultaneously? As much as we look out for ourselves and do things that have our interest in mind... can we look out for others to the same degree, can we do things that have their interest in mind just as much? Not necessarily more, but as much as (the old Golden Rule)?
It's something to consider, as we move forward in striving to be people who love well. Perhaps when we're asking how to love others, it's simply a reflection of how we love ourselves. And if you truly hate yourself, does that excuse you from loving others? I'd probably argue that the moments we think we truly hate ourselves are the moments when we may love ourselves a little too much.... in some fun psychological world I won't get into now.
All that to say...
Do a little self-examination today. What do you hate? Why? Who?
What would it look like for you to love others as yourself today?
While driving? While in class? While at work? While getting lunch?
You tell me.
We talked about this in small group this week!
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