Will a 'Dwight' breed jealousy?

“I guess Andy isn’t totally over his current girlfriend…but if he was jealous once before then maybe I can make him jealous again…” 

Erin, from The Office, proved to be a great subject for my ‘crazy girls’ theory this past week. While I think the show was trying to embellish her efforts to win back Andy and get him to notice her, I didn’t think they were so far from the truth. 

We laugh when she uses Dwight to try and make Andy jealous…and we laugh because it’s ridiculous- but, I bet we can all think of a time where we’ve done the very same thing.  We try to avoid being the jerk to the new girlfriend because we think he’ll notice the way we are handling the break-up maturely and be impressed by it- but inside we are hurting and jealous, wishing that he would see what he’s missing by not being with us.

We go to ridiculous measures to get guys to notice us, especially when it comes to gaining the affections of someone who once cared for us. 

I recently received a message from a girl whose willingness to be so honest was refreshing and enlightening.

So, I'm going to be pretty blatantly honest here, even though I will probably sound "crazy"… but you know how that goes, so keep reading. Last month, when I realized I'd get to see [my ex], my first thought was "I wonder if I keep to my half marathon training plan if I'll have lost 5 lbs. by the time I see him" ... then it was "I'll need to make sure my hair look really good" then "I'll need to spend some time in the sun so my face will be clear" ... and when I was shopping once, "How will these pants look with my shirt when I'm there?" ....legitimately... that is how ridiculous my thoughts went. I feel outrageous typing this. When I found out that I wasn't going to see him, it was like a huge weight lifted from my chest. 

Aren’t those the thoughts we all think, though?  The thoughts that when we talk about which superhero power we’d like to possess, when the mention of ‘reading people’s minds’ comes up, we all feel uncomfortable because we know the various things that cross through our brains in a matter of seconds? 

This girl kept processing through and went on to say this, in response to the sudden worry that crept in about if he had moved on and what he was really doing in his life:

I don't have to be worried. Anything that happens in his life no longer has to affect me. I don't have to be worried that he's falling in love with someone else, worried about when he's going to graduate, or how he's spending his free time or what his spiritual life is like. For the first time in years, I don't have to worry about that. Along with that, something huge happened... I woke up on Tuesday morning, looked in the mirror, and I liked what I saw. 

I remember when one of my roommates in college finally got over a guy that she had dated in high school.  It had been over a year and she had mourned him and their relationship frequently.  One random day, it suddenly dawned on her that she was over him…and she danced.  She just went crazy and danced, praising the Lord for the release on her heart.

Sometimes it just takes time.  Sometimes, no matter what we try to do, no matter what steps we take…we just need time.  It can become a grueling process—but I think that in the waiting for the Lord to mend our hearts, we learn a little about ourselves and a little more about Him.  We learn the things that are important and we grow. 

We get to the point, like this girl, and we are finally able to say something like this:

Sometimes I do really miss having [my ex] around.. he was my best friend for so long, through so many big parts of my life. But I am not the same person I was last week, last month, or last spring... He and I barely know each other anymore, we're constantly growing and changing and that is GOOD. Am I completely 100% over him? I don't even know what that really means, but this is the closest I've ever been. I will say that there isn't a place for him in my life right now… I just want to continue learning who I am, rediscovering my identity in Christ, and letting my mind be at rest without the confusion that guys bring.  

And what a beautiful day that is. 

For those of you who are still hurting and aching over a break-up… I encourage you to let time heal.  I encourage you to release control and not do crazy things to try and win him back.  I know it’s tempting to think that there is something you could do differently to change his mind… but, there’s not. 

Let him go.

Trust the Lord with your heart…again.

And let Him bring you into a place of full healing and peace about where you are and who you are. 

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Send in your own stories of something you have done, thought, or said that might be a bit 'crazy'... Send in your own questions and struggles. 

Let's bring light to the darkness, truth to the lies, and hope to the hopeless.  

You're not alone.  

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