I made a bet with a friend a few years ago.
It was a bet that was sort of meant to humiliate both of us if she followed through with her
end of the bargain. It was a bet for 2
single girls in their mid-twenties that were past the point of caring if they
appeared desperate or not (because, to some degree, we probably were).
The bet?
She had to get a guy’s phone number during the course of our
day out. If she succeeded, I was to text
the guy I was currently interested in and ask him the question that all guys must
despise: “so, where do you see this going?”
She succeeded (by virtue of not having clarified that the
guy’s number she had to retrieve needed to be someone that none us knew…). I was left to send an unfortunate text
message.
But, let’s be honest: I kind of wanted to. I kind of wanted to know what this guy
actually thought about me. I should
probably mention that our collected time spent together added up to maybe an
hour and there was a distance of 400 miles that separated us. You might think at this point that there was
a chance that we were calling, texting and emailing…but there were enough of
those encounters to count on less than four fingers.
Poor guy. I cringe
thinking about what he must have thought upon receiving such a text from a
recent acquaintance.
Needless to say, it didn’t work out.
It was one of those moments where I realized (again) that I
couldn’t make it happen. No matter how
desperately I wanted to be wanted, no matter how lonely I felt…I couldn’t twist
some random encounter with a cute guy who wanted my number (probably more for
business reasons than anything else) into a romantic relationship. It was one of the moments where surrender was
necessary.
I could probably stumble through all the cliché verbiage about
how the Lord had a plan for me and I needed to patiently wait for Him and His
timing. True, sure… but not necessarily
the thing someone wants to hear in that moment.
I remember battling through trusting Him with my future, I remember lacking
self-control (clearly), but I remember that I still hoped…
That even after this blunder, when there were very few
available men in my life, there was still a hope of something greater, of
something better.
Today I urge you to keep hoping for the better.
To slow down…. to calm
down. Don’t search for reasons to do
dumb things (‘cause you’ll find them).
Surrender is usually necessary when it comes to guys
and us… because we have the tendency to always want to do something.
There’s nothing you’ll do or not do to change someone’s mind
about you when it comes to dating. At
some point, somewhere along the line… some guy will just choose you. And you won’t even really know why. You’ll then, at that point, get to decide if
you’re going to choose him too…and you’ll get to decide if you’ll let him
choose you, even if you don’t really get it (that’s a battle within itself…).
In the meantime?
Get all those crazy notions out of your head that if you
just DO this or TRY that or SAY this… that it’ll change his mind, that he’ll
notice you, that he’ll realize that you’re the one he’s wanted all along. Let him go.
You’ll thank me for it later.
* * *
Send in your own stories of something you have done, thought, or said that might be a bit 'crazy'... and let's bring light to the darkness, truth to the lies, and hope to the hopeless. You're not alone. Your stories will remain anonymous unless otherwise stated.
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