A Battlefield

A girl that I mentored came into my office once, venting and fuming about a situation that was requiring her to love someone she didn’t want to love.  As she talked through the entire situation, she was realizing the battle within her…the battle that caused her to want to have nothing to do with this other individual, but also caused her to want to stick it out and approach the situation with love and tenderness.

As I listened to her and said few things, I almost teared up.  Ridiculous, right?  But as she elaborated and externally struggled between right and wrong, I just saw the Lord’s goodness.  I saw the Lord’s desire to refine her, and her desire to let him...but how we are so quick to put on our old selves--we are so quick to cater to our selfishness and our evil hearts.  I wanted to cry because I saw so much hope in her, and how the Lord was taking her through a situation that would only mold her and shape her into learning to love the unlovely. 

Beautiful.  

Isn’t it? 

I began to wonder where I was at in that process….that despite my circumstances, do I choose to allow the Lord to refine me, or do I choose my flesh?  I sadly (and humbly) realized that, more often than not, I tend to allow my flesh to consume me.  In the midst of trying situations when I get to choose how to react to something or someone that doesn’t agree with me… I struggle deeply. 

Good vs. Evil

It’s strange how the two can co-exist within me… this battle between my flesh and my heart; the battle between my old self and my new self.  In all actuality, sometimes it’s rather disturbing…

The thoughts I am capable of in my mind towards other people are completely contrary to the thoughts I long to have of them in my heart.  They are completely opposite of the ways I hope to love people, in the way that Christ loves them...the ways I hope to encourage them and be there for them. 

The harsh reality is that am absolutely incapable of loving people without Jesus Christ dwelling within me.  I am too quick to judge, I am too quick to take what I believe belongs to me, and absolutely selfish. 

In moments like these I am truly thankful for second chances.

...truly thankful that His mercy is new every morning. 

...truly thankful that despite the inner battle going on within that makes me crazy...His sovereignty prevails and He still is able to use someone like me. 

It's true for you, too. 

Wouldn't you agree? 

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Let's bring light to the darkness, truth to the lies, and hope to the hopeless.  

You're not alone.  

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