breaking ties

I’ve been talking to some guys about this blog and it’s somewhat hilarious to hear their comments.

“So wait… you’re telling girls that you’re crazy and making them feel like they’re not alone in being crazy- but are you telling them that they should stop being crazy??” 

Mostly it’s funny (and a bit sad) to hear their side of the ‘crazy girl’ stories...because they all have stories.  Girls who are pining after them, doing drastic and embarrassing things, just to get them to respond, to notice, to care.  I cringe thinking about all the stories guys in my past could tell about me…I recoil thinking about how everything must have appeared from their perspective, even if it made logical sense to me at the time.

Sometimes I was my own worst enemy.

Even if I could rationally tell myself that a guy wasn’t interested in me, I could still find some irrational reason to hope.  Even if we sat down and had a DTR about how he wasn’t interested in me, I still managed to find some shred of evidence that he really did like me, it was just the wrong time or there was fear was holding him back. 

So, here’s a word to all the guys out there:

We women are crazy and we fail to always get it.  Please adhere to the following:

•  If you’re not interested in us, we need you to straight up tell us that it’s never going to happen (because if you don’t, you leave us some room to wonder if it’s just a temporary thing and you could, someday, fall hopelessly in love with us). 

•  If you’re not interested in us, we need to you back out of our lives and make no effort to initiate any sort of anything with us (because if you don’t, we’ll find a reason to believe that the reason you are making an effort is because you actually do have feelings for us).

•  If you’re not interested in us, don’t give us any reason to assume otherwise (the most simple gesture that indicates that you’ve thought about us in any capacity can make our hearts swoon with hope and desire).

• If you’re not interested in us, don’t respond to us- this includes texts, emails, phone calls, one-on-one hanging out (you might feel rude, and might even have to go through some cruel accusations, but I think that creating distance in every way is necessary for a girl to realize it’s never going to happen). 

Don’t worry.  We’ll eventually get it.   We’ll move on, time will heal our wounds and we’ll learn more about what it means to trust the Lord with this part of our heart instead of trying to control it ourselves.  Eventually. 

You (more than likely) haven’t done anything wrong other than be a likeable guy.   We just fear there aren’t many of you and so we latch on quickly. 

Bear with us…and don’t give up hope that someday you’ll fall in love with one of us crazy girls (at some point the craziness becomes worth it).  In the meantime?  Break any and all ties with the crazy ones that you’ll never consider more than a friend. 

It’s the best for all involved.

Walk boldly, my friends.  

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