One day, in
elementary school, we were waiting in the lunch line outside the
cafeteria. The guy next to me had a
crush on me, and I while I was currently taking a two second hiatus from ‘going out’
with boys, that certainly didn’t stop me from playing with his heart. I guess I wanted to see to what measure he
would go to in order to ‘date’ me, because the next few minutes proceeded like this:
Me:
“Hey, you should ask me out.”
Boy: “Will you go out with me?”
Me: “No”
Boy: “oh…”
Me: “Ask me again”
Boy: “umm, will you go out with me?
Me: “umm, nope. Ask me again!”
Boy: “No, you’re just going to say
no”
Me: “You don’t know that! Just ask!”
Boy: “Will you go out with me?”
Me: “…………………………………..no!”
This continued on
for far too long and the thought of what that does to a poor boy’s self-esteem
makes my heart ache. How did we learn to
be so cruel at such a young age?? I'm
guilty of committing emotional torture.
I wish I could
say that I'm different now...but, unfortunately, this old tune of ‘girl reveling in the spotlight of the
male eye’ hasn’t exactly changed.
Perhaps it looks different (hopefully more mature)—but the result is
still the same.
We crush guys
if it means we get to feel better about ourselves in the process. We lead them on, we dangle ourselves in front
of them, we flirt, we laugh, we touch, we sometimes even kiss (oh, sweet girls,
I do pray it doesn’t get this far…let alone further)…and then we hang them out
to dry.
Once they are
done fulfilling whatever need they met in us, we flee. Sometimes this is just intense conversations
or lots of quality time together…but sometimes this means more to guys than we
think it does.
I implore you
women to think about these men’s hearts above yours (…value others above
yourselves- Phil 2) and to think twice before you entertain a man who you know is interested in you when you are certain you have no romantic interest in
him (you know when you're not interested--don't try to play that 'but what-if' game to justify your actions).
I promise that
honesty from the get-go is a sign of integrity and compassion, and that your ability to have self-control in situations like this speaks volumes about your character.
So stop
emailing and texting him.
Stop spending
so much time with him.
Stop fishing
for compliments.
Stop being his
go-to girl.
Let him
go. Not because your heart is at stake…but
because his is.
And, because it’s
the right thing to do.
* * *
Send in your own stories of something you have done, thought, or said that might be a bit 'crazy'... Send in your own questions and struggles.
Let's bring light to the darkness, truth to the lies, and hope to the hopeless.
You're not alone.
Your stories will remain anonymous
There's a "How I Met Your Mother" episode about this...not that anyone should watch that show...they call it having someone "on the hook". Get him off your hook! :)
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