It's probably a dumb move, as life is never like the movies...but, it's made me think a bit. We're always rooting for our favorite characters to take risks--to go after the person they love, to jump in front of bullets for their friends, to bear their souls despite the unknown.... to essentially do the unthinkable, the scary, the bold.
But, when we're put in comparable circumstances, I wonder how many of us are ever willing to take those risks. We are drawn into these movies because they have a good story. We are rooting for these characters because they want something that they've deemed worth it, and they'll stop at nothing to get it. This resonates deep within us as we tell our own stories, as we consider what's worth it, as we make our own choices.
As much as life isn't like the movies, I've been wanting to live my life lately like it is. I want to live my life like I have a story worth sharing with the world. It may not be the type of movie where the world is ending and I'm the heroin saving lives right and left... but it's a movie where life becomes great even in the mundane and ordinary. Where life is about living for a something better, something meaningful, something worth fighting for.
It's a life full of risk.
And, as a result, it's probably a life filled with heartache.
I've been wondering lately if I can be okay with that. I've been wondering lately if I can even manage that emotionally. I've been wondering if I can be okay with the end results not looking like the fairy-tales or the happily-ever-afters.
I've been living in this world where I'm subconsciously protecting myself in everything I do. I've been living my life out of fear, out of doubt, out of the possibility of the worst case scenario coming true. And I just wonder.... are the things that I'm trying to protect myself from really that bad? Am I even able to protect myself from those things, or is it just this weird delusion I've created for myself? Am I attempting to control things that are completely out of my control?
I'm so tired of living cautiously.
I'm so tired of living by the book.
I'm so tired of living a life of control.
The alternative is terrifying, but I think what's even more terrifying is missing out on living a great story. Instead of a life of love and risk and heartache... I fear a life of being closed off, distant and alone.
Something has to change.
It's time to risk.
It's time to put my heart out there.
It's time to tell a better story.
It's time to live like I'm in the movies.
It's time to chase after those I love, to step in front of bullets, to spill my soul... even if I don't know the outcome. Perhaps the ending will be happy... and perhaps it won't.
Either way...
It's time.
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There's got to be a balance, I think. There are some risks I wish I had taken, but there are a lot that I'm glad I didn't. Calculating potential damage doesn't mean you can't live life...in fact, I think it can lead to a freer and more fulfilling life.
ReplyDeleteA few things that sound more definitive than I intend...
ReplyDeleteMovies, on the whole, tell us a lot more about what we want to hear than about what we really want. I think, as I get older, that movies give us a very distorted view of the world. Beware.
Taking risks to take risks isn't the same thing as bravery. Trusting and waiting take more courage, most of the time. That's because it requires us to give up control. When we take risks, we're taking control - or at least trying to. And since we actually aren't in control, that's dangerous.
Don't try to grab at things to make yourself happy. Motives are huge. If you can, try to push through the static to hear your true heart.