Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Fitting a Mold

I had a friend recently tell me how annoyed she gets by guys deciding that they want a wife and then going out to find the girl who will fit that mold....instead of meeting a girl and deciding that she's what they want.

I see her point, but I'd have to say that girls have the tendency to do the same thing. We're all kind of in the same boat here. The difference is that girls, oftentimes, don't feel as much liberty to go pursuing romantic relationships because we've been told to be patient and wait for 'that guy' to come around.

I do wonder how much of it's true though.
How many guys do decide, 'Hey, I think I could see myself getting married soon....and this is the kind of girl that I want.' and then they set out to find a girl that matches all of their criteria? I feel like I've known a few to think the opposite. They think they'll probably never get married and are quite content to remain single, but then they meet someone who shatters that vision for their lives.

Mostly, all of this makes me wonder how detrimental planning can be. I know to some degree we have to... but don't you always feel like anytime you actually make a plan, something goes awry? Don't you always feel like the more you expect something to go a certain way, the more it goes the opposite of that? At times I feel like I almost bank on that to be the case.

Regardless, this isn't a subject I can elaborate on much more...since I'm not a guy. Although, I remember always wishing it were different. I remember always wishing that the guys I were friends with would wake up and see that the girl they were in search of wasn't necessarily what they might need in a life mate. I remember wishing that they could see me as compatible, even if I didn't necessarily fit their mold.

And it makes me wonder how many guys feel the same way about certain girls- how many guys think that they're just not enough to be considered for our checklist of the 'perfect guy'. So maybe we're all just longing to be noticed by someone else in a way that takes us out of the realm of friendship. And it makes me wonder what are the things that allow us to move into a world of romance and intimacy with someone else.

What is it for you?
Could what you're looking for be right in front of your face? Could it be your best friend? Could it be a casual acquaintance you haven't looked at twice because of some dumb, untrue rumor you heard about them?

I don't know.
I just think that sometimes we miss out on some of the best things.... on some of the best people...simply because they aren't packaged in the way that we wanted or expected. I can't help but hope that we would all be willing to open our eyes and allow something different to be a possibility. To allow our plans... and even our ideals... to be different.

I'm not saying forget about standards and things that really matter... but I am saying that oftentimes those things look incredibly different than we think they might.

Open your eyes.
Are you looking for someone who may not even exist, when something great is already right before you?  When that something great might even be perfect for you?

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