Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The Pause

I've been reminded recently that girls are pretty crazy when it comes to love and romance.
Don't believe me??

Even Sebastian knows what's going on (while he simultaneously has no idea...).
I mean, we've all done it. And when the flowers weren't accessible we would play the soda pop tab game. You know, the one where you push the tab back and forth to the letters of the alphabet just hoping that it'll pop off on the letter of your crush's name. I remember trying to manipulate the tab to come off at just the right time, as if, somehow, the tab held the secret powers of making my crush suddenly be interested in me. I think it worked.... never?

The funny thing about this is that while our insecurities take us back and forth emotionally before a relationship even begins... our over-analytical minds also tend to take us back and forth once we are finally in the relationship. The female mind seems to flourish in the world of being completely Unsettled.

It's awful.
You feel crazy. In one moment you're convinced he likes you, the next moment you're convinced he doesn't. In one moment you're convinced you love him, and the next you're wondering what in the world you saw in him in the first place. Something he does is infuriating and absolutely wrong and the next second you're melting because of his smile or his eyes, or the way that he did something kind for you without you asking.

We're hard to please.
And yet we demand that we be pleased, in our own way... the way that meets all of our expectations.

The reassuring thing, ladies, is that you're not alone in this.
The not so reassuring thing is that it's almost always irrational and ridiculous and we very easily are creatures driven by emotion, which often leads to us making poor decisions.

I can't tell you the number of times, while crushing on someone when I wasn't sure how they felt about me, that I became crazy and ended up doing or saying something I immediately regretted. I can't tell you the number of times, while dating someone, that I wanted to break up with them for the most insignificant thing and then ten seconds later found myself so thankful that I was with them. I can't tell you the number of times that I've just felt plain crazy when it came to men.

Here are my thoughts though: pause...before you do anything or say anything at all.
Take it to the Lord. Be willing to consider if you are manipulating, controlling, being selfish, or simply not trusting the Lord with this area of your life. Be willing to take a moment to process whether or not this thing you are so worked up over matters (especially those of you in relationships who find yourselves becoming nagging, constantly annoyed women)... and be ready to hold your tongue.

I hate feeling crazy.
But, I must admit that sometimes I am.
I think the more I can acknowledge that sometimes I truly am a little crazy, the more I can recognize tendencies within myself to actually do the crazy things... and then stop them before they happen. I think ultimately my prayer has to be that the Lord would quiet my anxious heart, that He would teach me how to trust Him, that He would teach me how to be a woman who acts in sound, rational ways instead of flighty, irrational, emotional ones.

This always requires the pause.
Pause before doing.
Pause before saying.

Sometimes it's even good to have a sounding board in trusted friendships/mentors that can remind you of your tendencies while you're in the middle of a 'crazy' episode. Sometimes it's good to even touch base with them before you end up doing something irrational or emotional and allow them to be your sounding board before you go spill your guts to your current romantic interest.

Be slow to speak, ladies.
I think we'll all find ourselves a bit better off if we learn to live with more of a pause in our lives...if we learn how to truly take things to the Lord before letting our irrational, crazy sides consume us.

maybe that's just me.

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