I feel like I'm often tinkering around on the edge of the pool of life, dipping my toe in every so often...delighted by the sensation of how the water affects parts of me, but unable to grasp the fullness of what it would (or could) look like and feel like to take the plunge.
It's not that I don't want to.
It's just that I don't know how.
It's like I'm aware that a deeper exists, I just don't know how to get there. And, if we're being honest, there are probably times when I'm quite content on the outskirts of the pool because I'm not fully sure of what the plunge might require of me.
Too often I'm scared of the unknown, especially within the spiritual realm.
It's easy to love the God that I've grown up 'knowing', but what happens when He does things outside of what I'm used to? What happens when His moving in others looks radically different than what I've ever witnessed before?
It's easy for me to snap to quick judgements and defy that it could ever be God doing those things, moving those people in those ways... but what if my comfort level didn't dictate what God can and can't do? What if I allowed God to be bigger than what I've always known? What if I embraced the fullness of who He is? And what if that looks different than what I'm always comfortable with?
I want to go beyond what I know and step into what is true, even if it means stretching the box that I've put God into. I think I have to. Because as much as I'm content dabbling around the pool and sticking my toe in when I feel 'ready', I think there's something greater to dive into. Something more powerful, more mysterious, more unexplainable....and while that's terrifying, I'm convinced it must be better.
I guess I hope that in addition to all the newness in my physical life, that there would be newness in my spiritual life. That my heart would be open to God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit moving in ways that are true and good. That may look different from what I've known, but I pray that I would be stepping into a fuller, deeper view of who God really is and what He is calling me to. I realize I may be in a perfect place for that as I'm entering into a season of learning and meeting tons of people from tons of backgrounds.
I hope you'll pray for an open-mindedness with me. I hope you'll seek out truth for yourself, that you would long to take a plunge into The Deeper...even if you're not entirely sure how or what that even means. May we be a people who continually long to know our Savior more intimately, despite how uncomfortable it may make us at times. May we be a people who long for others to know the fullness of who He is and what He has done for us.
I don't exactly know how to get into The Deeper, and I'm not actually convinced that I can get there on my own...but my plea is that I'd be open to knowing Jesus and everything that entails. I'm trusting that He'll take me there when it's time.
A journey.
More learning and growing...
It is good.
It is necessary, no matter how painful and uncomfortable it may be.
May we catch more glimpses of the Lord's glory here on earth as we willingly open ourselves to The Deeper.
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