Being Right.

I'm always right.

It's the most ridiculous statement... but sometimes I probably think it's true. I'd venture to say that you probably think you're always right, too. That's why it sucks when we disagree about something. We clearly both can't be right and neither of us are too keen on the idea of admitting we were wrong. Let's just agree to disagree.

I realized in my line of work that it's especially easy to want to be right about everything. It's especially easy to feel as though I have the best way of doing things and everyone else's way is either inefficient or just plain stupid. It's easy for me to feel as though people could be doing things better than they are. I am prideful. And ignorant (because I'm not them and there's a whole lot I don't know about various circumstances).

I realize that this is probably true of people all over the world. We all think we know what's best... and sometimes we aren't scared to say it. We're really great at offering suggestions/advice, or telling others how to do something different/better... especially when we think we have a better alternative.

While driving:
'Don't you think it'd be faster if we went this way...?'

While putting a new gadget together:
'Maybe you should follow the instructions they gave you?'

While working:
'If you showed up on time...then I could...'

While playing sports:
'If you hold your hands like this, you should be able to hit it better....'

I started off thinking that it was a breakdown in communication between genders, but as I thought about interactions between other females and myself, I recognized it exists there, too. I don't think it's just something us women struggle with, as I feel like guys can also be quick to give their two cents on how something could be done better...

I think it's because we're prideful....or impatient...or simply want to be heard.
We do tons of group development out at camp and almost every group runs into the same problem: one kid will give an idea and before the group even has a chance to really try it out, someone else steps in with a different solution. Eventually they're all talking over each other and nothing is accomplished.

Isn't that sort of how we sometimes operate, though? Only, it usually looks a little nicer in the adult world...
How often do we give people room to try something their way (even if they might fail), without trying to step in and offer up our own, 'right' way of doing things?

While I know there are times when you need to step in and say something (especially if someone is clearly going to fail)... there are a lot of times when it's unnecessary. Where it doesn't hurt if you go a different route, when it doesn't matter if it takes longer to put something together, where their way can be just as efficient as your way...

What if we shut our mouths every once in a while and didn't always offer up our opinion?
What if we allowed someone else to be successful in their way...without us having to be right and them having to be wrong? Without us having to come to conclusions of agreeing to disagree because we're too stubborn to let someone else 'win'?

Try it.
Let me know how it goes.
I'm going to try it, too. I imagine it'll be hard for my controlling, prideful self to let things slide... but I think we can learn a lot in the process. Maybe someone else's way is better... and maybe it's time for me to swallow my pride and let go.

Whew...

* * *

Submit Your Stories/Questions/Struggles Here

Your entries will remain anonymous