The words were pressed upon my heart as I walked away from a relationship...not fully understanding why it was over, but somehow believing undoubtedly in the Lord's goodness and protection as I dried my eyes and attempted to moved on. My heart hurt and while I felt like I had given and given and given and tried to make it all work out...it just wasn't working. It couldn't. Something was fundamentally wrong.
"I love that you were willing, but this isn't what I have for you. This isn't who I have for you."
There was the peace that passes all understanding.
And while I wasn't ever going to decide that for myself, I knew that it was right. I had to leave. Even in the midst of the pain, I knew that it was good.
The promises I felt that day weren't forgotten.
But I've spent a lot of time praying, begging, wondering... did He forget?...Did I hear correctly? Does He really have better for me?
Waiting.
Doubting.
Desiring.
Dabbling.
Flirting.
Fearing.
Denying.
Rejecting.
Running.
Grasping.
But the Lord is faithful.
Faithful to give us abundantly more than all we ask for or imagine.
I don't know if I always believe it when I'm praying for it, but now I feel like I'm living in it. Living in the very midst of the Lord's provision as He exceeds my expectations and surprises me as He asks me to trust Him.
My heart is full.
The waiting is worth it.
The repetitive heartbreak seems fairly insignificant when you realize that it only means it got you to where you're at today.
There are good guys still out there.
Good guys who love Jesus more than anything, who let it transform who they are and how they live. Good guys who seek to love, encourage, challenge and support others. Good guys who are willing to do whatever it takes. Good guys who are patient enough to wade into the brokenness of another and point them back toward the Healer. Good guys who genuinely care, who long to listen, who want to really know people. Good guys who recognize their own depravity and need for Christ and walk in the humility of what that means for their lives.
There are good guys still out there.... good guys who even have things in common with you. Good guys who laugh easily, who enjoy life, who inspire, who dream. Good guys who want you.
They may not be exactly what you would have imagined... but they may exceed your expectations if you're willing to look beyond your checklist (especially with all the things that don't matter that you're still dwelling on). You may even be surprised by how your preferences change as you allow the good guys in.
The good guys might come around when you least expect it, they may come masked in a different age range or a different hair color or a different body build than you might have thought... they may come around ten years later than you might hope for...
But, they come.
They exist.
And it's worth it.
Worth the wait.
Worth the wondering.
Worth trusting the Lord's promises when He asks you to step away from things.
Because He wants to bless us abundantly.
Abundantly more than all we ask or imagine.
I'm living proof.
I found a good guy.
And my heart is full.
Keep waiting. Keep trusting. Keep living life.
He'll come.
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