Thursday, October 11, 2012

I am Nothing.

Someone recently reminded me that I'm not the hero.

A gentle prompting to never forget that as I tell stories and share my heart, that it's not me who is to receive any credit for the change, for the good, for....well, anything. While my first response was to want to argue and defend myself, to ensure that that was never my intent... I realized it didn't matter. Regardless of intent or not, regardless for my reasons for telling stories the way in which I do... if, in the end, it's me who comes out looking like the hero, I've done something wrong.

With that in mind, I want to apologize to all my readers if that's ever been the thing taken away from a post. I acknowledge that any good that I have to offer or give is solely because of Jesus. It's only by His blood that I am redeemed, that I am counted as worthy, that I have hope. It's only through Him that I can boast about second chances.

I hope by now that you've realized that I don't have it all together, that I'm far from perfect, that I have the tendency to make more mistakes than do anything right. In the process of me sharing and writing, I sincerely desire that you walk away hopeful for better...that you might be willing to challenge and prod at the things you've claimed to believe without even knowing why. And, ultimately, that you would always be drawn back to Jesus.

I may not do that so visibly every time, as I fear becoming my own montage of cliches that continue to drive people further from truth. There may be traces of me needing to choose Jesus all the time, and my battle with not always wanting to. But, in the end, it is always He who is faithful, He who is good, He who loves first so I can also love. Without Him, I am nothing.

Thanks for journeying with me through my imperfections and struggles.
I'm so sorry for any narcissism, for any impression I may have given that I hold the key to all the answers. Most times I feel like I'm barely hanging on myself.

I want to serve you, to lead you toward better, to offer you an abundance of hope through second chances...and ultimately that comes through Christ, as He is the sole provider of forgiveness, grace, love and mercy.

It's only by His blood.
And it's only He who is the hero.

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