Tuesday, February 4, 2014

The Guys who Get the Girls (Part I)

The Comment: 
Six months later he admitted he was interested in me the whole time. Why did he never say anything?
Oh my...
There's probably a whole mess of reasons behind why he didn't say anything and I can't even begin to deduce what it actually was. Maybe he was scared you were a rebound? Maybe he was scared you weren't interested? Maybe he was not in a place he felt like he should be pursuing anyone? Maybe he was scared he wasn't really interested (and just liked to entertain the idea without wanting to actually put any feet to it)?

Maybe he's just... scared. 

We can always come up with reasons to not do something. In fact, we're pretty good at talking ourselves out of things... especially things that involves risks and possible rejection. But, he may have had legitimately good reasons for not making a move, but we'll never know.

Mostly I think he's a moron (is that too harsh?)...
Here's why:
If he wasn't willing to say something at the time (or decided it wasn't a good idea), why did he decide to say anything at all...especially if he was never going to do anything about it? What's the point? Where's the logic? Did he even think through the ramifications of it all? Did he think there was a benefit?

And, even if he didn't say anything out of fear six months ago, was he hoping that your reaction to his confession would spark some sort of romance?

Do guys know that (generally) if they just take a risk and ask a girl out, that there's a really good chance she'll say yes? Do they know that them making a move is usually better than them making no move at all? Do they know that asking for a number, taking some initiate, taking a chance on a girl is one of the most attractive things to a girl? Do they know that girls don't always want to be the one having to flirt, drop hints, or bring up DTR conversations?

Do they know...?
Because part of me thinks, if they knew, that things would look a bit different out in the world. That instead of a small percentage of girls being asked out, there would be this flurry of confidence and excitement as men step up and take risks because they've decided a particular girl just might be worth it.

You don't have to know that you're going to marry the girl. You don't have to have everything all figured out. But, I guarantee you that it's going to be much more likely that you get the girl you want if you actually try to get her. If you put yourself out there. If you face the possible rejection. If you are open and honest about where you're at....even if that includes your hesitations and fears along the way.

Women are drawn to that type of vulnerability, that type of risk-taking...especially when they're the one you're taking a risk on. They see honor it, they see courage in it. It's attractive....even if they might not initially be attracted to you, even if they might not have considered you a possibility before. Once you put yourself out there, once you ask... they'll at least think about it. And, the more sure you are that you want to be with them, the more attractive it can be. We want to be wanted. We like being wanted. We like when guys are sure they want us (even if we aren't 100% sold on it just yet...).

Your chances are slim to zero when you're unwilling to try and get the girl.
Your chances increase dramatically when you're willing.
When you try.
When you get over your fears and ask a girl out (without being all wishy-washy and unclear about your intentions).

Be bold.
Don't wait.
Don't psyche yourself out.
Just do it.
I bet you'll be surprised by the response.
You might just get yourself the girl.

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