Thursday, June 27, 2013

Not Invincible

I might have given myself a concussion a while back.

It was one of those times when you open up a car door and either miscalculate your distance from the door or underestimate your brute strength compared to the weight of the door and before you know it, a heavy piece of metal (that you're controlling) is nailing you in the forehead. It's the worst. The Worst.

Not only are you embarrassed by what just happened, but you're left with a goose egg of a bump on your head that might eventually turn purple. There's no way to play it off in any sort of cool way...

I might have fallen down the stairs the other day, too.

It was one of those moments when you turn quickly, your foot catches and you feel your upper body propelling forward and downward while your feet get stuck behind. You hear yourself distantly yelling, 'Oh shoooooooooot!' (and you're honestly somewhat surprised you aren't cursing) as you desperately try to clutch onto the banister before you break your neck in the tumble. You succeed, fortunately, and walk away with your legs a big banged up and your pride a bit wounded (especially when your landlord runs over after hearing the loud ordeal and offers to take you to the hospital).

It was one of those days when you feel like you're getting really old.
And one of those days when you're not invincible.

After the dizziness had passed, I decided I was in good enough shape to drive thirty minutes to meet a friend for a hiking escapade. As I drove, I couldn't help but think about how much worse it could have been (and how stupid it still was...).

But both of these events (no matter how trivial) remind me that I'm human. Bad things can happen to me... when I least expect it. Bad things can happen to me...accidentally. I don't deserve for them not to.

They are things that remind me to be thankful for what I have. To remember the blessings. To remember that I've been given infinitely more than what I need, even when I still feel like I want what I don't have.

I have already been given more than what I deserve.

And I don't want to forget that.
So even when I have little scares... or even major things don't seem to be lining up the way I ever thought they would...

I want to remember Jesus.
I want to remember what I deserved.
I want to remember that He saved me from what I deserved.
I want to remember how He saved me from it.

And I want to remember that anything I get beyond that is a blessing, not something I'm entitled to. And anything that seems bad or scary or harmful...there's already been true victory in my life.

I want to remember that I'm not invincible.
And even though bad things can happen at any moment, at any time...
I don't need to live in fear of it, but I can live in gratitude for what I'm continually given each day.

The perspective shift.
Sometimes you just need a good hit in the head, or a good fall down the stairs to get it. Sometimes something worse wakes us up to those realities. Sometimes we just remember and we're thankful.

But, in the end, no matter where we stand... Jesus still reigns. He still saves.
Even when we suck.

And today I am thankful.

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