Is 'Sin'... Sin....?

Has someone's confession of sin ever led you into that sin?

It seems that there's a fine line in confession of sin and being vulnerable with each other...one that we need to be aware of. While it's a powerful thing to share the things that we are struggling with openly and honestly, I wonder if the confession can sometimes be more detrimental for others than positive.

This seems especially plausible when older people share their stories with younger people. While there can very much be a reassurance that a student is not alone in their sin, it seems like there can very much be an attitude of, 'Oh, if he/she has done that... maybe I can too?'

I only think that because I remember feeling that way as a teenager. I remember feeling more okay about sin when I knew it was something one of my brothers, or an older girl in my youth group had done. I remember feeling okay about things because my 'solid' Christian peers were or had struggled with it.

My radar of sin is sometimes more indicative of what the people around me think over what the Lord thinks about it.

I fear that we forget that God hates sin and cannot be among it because He is thrice holy... but we are very quick to remember the sin that the world hates, the sin that the world condemns, the sin that other Christians judge us for. It seems that, more often than not, sin affects us more not because God hates it.... but because other people condemn, judge, and outcast us for it.

Quite oppositely, when our Christian crowds, churches, leaders, friends, mentors, families let us in on the sin in their lives...it's easy for us to go one of two ways. Either judge them for it, or think 'oh...that's not so bad....' which can lead us into a spiral of even trying it for ourselves (if we haven't already). I realize there's a middle ground, but in my personal experience I tend to take everything to either extreme.

Sometimes I think we even call things sin that aren't sin because that's what others around us have told us for so long. I wonder how much we even seek the answers for ourselves instead of just readily accepting that something is sin. It's a real bummer, actually. I think we can get so consumed by what religion is telling us is bad, that we forget to search it out for ourselves.

I know I'm briefly touching on a lot of big subjects here...
So, in a brief summary, here are my thoughts:

1. In sharing your stories/struggles with others, use caution. Be aware that your confessions of sin might lead others astray. Be willing to leave out details and specifics if necessary. Find a safe place to spill all, but know that there are appropriate venues in which to do this. Know that while your story might resonate deeply with one, it could very easily lead another into sin. 
2. Make sure your standard for sin is coming from the Lord and not from men. 
3. Make sure the things that you are calling sin and treating like sin are sin. Not just because someone told you that...make sure you have a good understanding of what conviction from the Lord is vs. conviction from man.

While I wish the conviction from man would be a good indicator of what sin is and isn't, if we look at many things of the past, we find that we have been so very wrong so much of the time. 

We can go deeper with any of these things if you'd like. Just let me know. 

As always, please feel free to submit your own thoughts and questions that you have about any topic you're wrestling through or thinking about. I'd love to hear from you! 

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Unbelieving Belief

The comment:

Where is the line between the natural doubts and then those doubts which lead to sin? How shall I handle these doubts? I feel like a battle is going on in my heart, over all I believe...

If there's one thing I've struggled with my entire life, it's doubt.
I doubt everything.

The earliest trace of doubt I can remember was as a little girl, age 6. My parents would have me say my prayers every night and in addition to praying that no robbers, fire or Indians would come my way (...long story), I'd pray consistently that Jesus would come into my heart. I remember being fearful that He hadn't heard me the night before and so I needed to be extra sure each night.

Ironically enough, my first serious boyfriend dubbed me 'Faith' and the emails we exchanged back and forth (at the age of 15, mind you) were always headed with this affectionate nickname. It may have been given in attempts to spur me on toward faith and never let me forget to have it... honestly, I don't remember. But, I know that faith is not a defining thing about me (ask anyone who knows me well).

My sophomore year of college was especially challenging. While I had always had questions and doubts regarding faith, that spring semester led me down a dangerous road. I didn't get why Jesus dying for the world was such a big deal. It seemed to me that many people would be willing to die so that the entire world might be able to live... in fact, similar things had already been done. My mindset was almost a, 'so what's the big deal, anyway?'

I began to trail down the path of what it might be like if I walked away from my faith. What would it look like if I abandoned Christianity, if I denounced God and lived life any way I wanted to?

I thought about it a lot, and lived out the hypothetical life in my dreams. As much as I could see myself taking this road, I kept coming to this block. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that there was no God, and certainly not one I could give my life to, I still couldn't imagine my life without Him. Even in my lowest moments, I knew that He was the one, true constant in my life that I couldn't deny. It hit me that Jesus would have still gone to that cross, even if it had been just for me.

But I still doubted.
I weaseled my way into another summer as a camp counselor and that's when transformation really started to happen. Transformation because I met a godly man who challenged me that doubt could be good. He pointed me in the direction of Scripture and encouraged me to look at the people, the faithful followers of Christ. Turns out they weren't always so faithful...but it seemed to be in their moments of doubt that God was able to still work, He was able to reveal His glory, His power, His might.

I still doubt. All the time.
I think, to some degree, it's okay. I think it's what you do with the doubt that matters.
Do you let the doubt move you into a place of searching for answers, into a place of begging that the Lord would increase your faith?
OR, does the doubt cause you to halt, does it put you in a place of being unwilling to want to have faith?

I think this is the answer to your question. We're all going to doubt... but when your doubt leads to despair, when it leads you into resisting God and constantly desiring to turn from Him--that's when you need to be wary.

Ultimately, I firmly believe that He doesn't let His children wander forever. I often encourage people to explore their doubts, to seek answers to their questions... to try and imagine what life without God is like. God wouldn't be God if He couldn't handle this. I'd rather you go exploring and finding God for yourself than try to convince you with my words that He is the living God. I believe you will find Him, if you seek Him with all of your heart.

I think your doubt becomes sin when you sit in it, when you dwell there, when you settle for it because you think there's no hope of getting out. I've been here, too-- not so very long ago.

Press on to know Him, even when you doubt.
Press on to know His word--get familiar with those in Scripture who doubted, get familiar with how the Lord drew them out of those places.

Acknowledge your doubt before the Lord.
Guess what?
He's not surprised by it.

I think it's so valuable for us to be honest with Him, to not try to hide things from Him. When we allow ourselves to be honest with Him about our doubts, I think He can more easily meet us where we're at because we're openly letting Him in instead of resisting or denying.

And may our prayer always ultimately be:
Father, I do believe. Help my unbelief! 

'Cause we believe... and we don't... 

And we need Him to change our hearts, because... try as I may... I just can't make myself believe. 

I am sure of what I hope for, though. 

Are you? 

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SinnED... or SinnING?

True confession is hard. 

It's much easier for us to talk about things in the past tense than it is for us to admit when we're currently struggling with things. It's safer... we feel less judged...we feel stronger. Only... a lot of times we're just liars. 

Think about it...

How often do you talk to people when you're in the midst of sin vs. either waiting until time has passed in order to present it as a past struggle, or actually just lying about the time frame of things?

I've had people avoid me for long bouts of time because they didn't want me to ask them about the stuff going on their lives. It was much easier for them to wait... and wait...and finally come out of something before they were able to tell me what had been going on. Ever done that? 

I have. 

Just the other day I was talking to a girl about the importance of confession and accountability and how it only works if you want it to. I was talking to her about being specific with her confession and being willing to admit that her struggles were a present thing and not a thing of the past. As soon as we were done talking, I felt conviction as my hypocritical self had been hiding a few current struggles from my closest friends. Immediately I went and confessed. 

I hate this. 

I hate that we talk a lot about freedom in Christ, and we talk a lot about how grace covers us, and we talk a lot about how we love people no matter what... but we don't always believe these things. 

We don't always believe that freedom actually exists... we don't always believe that His grace is sufficient... we don't always think people mean it when they say they love us, especially if they find out our deepest sources of shame. We choose to believe the lie.  

I think another thing might even be that we don't want to confess sin in the midst of sin because we don't actually want to change. We like our sin (and we simultaneously hate it), so as long as we can present our sin as past sin, we don't have people always checking in, always asking us about it. We're free to continue living in it until we feel conviction heavily and need to confess again.

I really do believe that freedom can come in confession. I believe it comes when we are truly honest about our sin, when we are truly honest about how much we're struggling with something... when we're willing to even be specific about our sin. It's one thing to tell a friend that you struggle with lust... but it's another thing to tell them that you're fantasizing about a specific someone and longing to be with them constantly. If I know the latter, I know more of how to specifically pray for you and I know the questions to ask you. 

We have to want it, though. 

As I've thought a lot lately about what it really changes people, I've come to the conclusion that people have to want to change themselves. At that point they're then willing to do whatever it takes to make the changes-- whether that means full surrender, begging the Lord, asking others for help, seeking counseling, putting boundaries/restrictions on their life... whatever it takes. 

But, I can't make you want to change. 

Do you want to? 

Are you ready to? 

Does it matter enough to you? 

If so, I urge you to start with confession. With the Lord and with close friends (of the same gender) that you can trust. Be willing to tell them the things that you are struggling with, not just the things that you've struggled with. Be willing to get specific. 

Walk in the freedom it brings and do whatever it takes to keep walking in that. 

Walk in the fullness of the things you say you believe. 

And be willing to love others and walk with them through their current struggles, too. 

Go confess whatever it is you know you need to. 

No more delaying. 

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