Just follow these five steps and it'll guarantee that the man you've been crushing on will fall head over heels in love with you...he won't even know what hit him.
Would you want that?
I mean... really want that?
If you just wore the right clothes, or did your hair a certain way, or knew the exact point in which to smile (you know, the point where your eyes meet from afar and you break into a smile that's more than just a smile, and he simply cannot resist you). Or maybe it involves the perfect reason to 'run' into him or contact him or hang out with him. Maybe it's a certain phrase that you have to say in this specific way at this exact time in your interactions with him.
Would you do whatever it takes to get him to notice you? To ask you out? To want to be with you?
'Cause here's what keeps happening in my head lately (ready for brutal honesty?)...
I meet a guy, am initially attracted to him, and determine that I would like to get to know him better. This whole 'getting to know you process' would be much easier if he would just ask me out on a date on his own, right? Unfortunately it doesn't really ever work like that. Instead I'm stuck within the confines of random encounters that are few and far between.
Somehow, I think the burden lies on me.
My first reaction is always to jump to, 'What can I do...?'
What can I do to get this guy to notice me, to want to talk to me, to ask me out on a date?
And lately...?
Lately, I'm frozen right there... because I catch myself entering into controlling, manipulative mode.
Because, if you're a lady, there may be times when you've gotten exactly the guy you thought you wanted through some amount of scheming and interfering and placing yourself in the right situation at the right time. Maybe you've played the 'damsel in distress' card, preying upon the male's desire to come to a woman's rescue and be the hero. Maybe you've found yourself suddenly interested in all the same things that your crush is interested in, just to have an excuse to spend more time with him ('oh...you're into baseball, too...? I had no idea...').
Let's face it... we're sometimes pretty good at getting what we want.
But lately...?
As my natural desire is to go immediately back into that place of 'how do I get what I want', I've been freezing...because I'm now so aware that I don't know what I want/need.
I've been so wrong in the past, why would I ever think that I would know now?
So, as I meet new guys that I find attractive, and cool for a lot of different reasons...instead of jumping into the 'what can I do...?' mode, I'm trying to live in a place of letting things be what they are.
Does it mean that I don't get excited and hopeful when I run into them? Hardly. But, it does mean that there's a relinquishing of control that's continually necessary. It means that there's a constant voice in my head reminding me that I don't always know what's best for me and that what I think I want isn't always what I want.
I don't want to hold a key to the secret of how to get a guy to date me.
I want him to ask me out because he wants to, and not because anything I did or said manipulated him into doing so. I want him to spend time with me because he wants to, not because I did something to make it happen. I want him to call me or text me or email me because he's thinking about me, not because he feels obligated to respond to me.
It just seems better that way.
More... organic.
More... mutual.
More... freeing.
More...like it's not me making it happen and that maybe (since I've clearly been so wrong in the past) there's something to letting things come my way instead of forcing it to come about in my way.
Maybe you should try it, too.
And so we keep waiting. But, in the process of waiting, we stop getting ourselves in the middle of relationships and heartaches that are often spawned from our urges to jump the gun and make relationships happen that shouldn't be happening in the first place. We stop trying to cram the wrong objects in the wrong holes and getting frustrated in the process.
There's no secret in getting guys to date you. And, the harder you try, I think the more often you'll be disappointed and heartbroken. Sometimes guys just aren't gonna like you. It's okay. Oftentimes you'll be thankful for it in the end.
Let it go.
Let it happen as it happens (even if that means waiting a while).
I'm pretty hopeful that it'll be worth it in the end.
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