Keep Waiting

It's kind of been a crazy year.
Move to Boston.
Move to New Mexico.
Get engaged.

What...?
Yes, it happened. I have this sparkly, heavy thing on my finger and while it seems perfectly normal...it simultaneously seems impossible. How did I get here?

After the most perfect engagement with the most perfect sunset with the most perfect man for me, I was soon surrounded by close friends and family to celebrate. They asked how we met, how it happened, different things in order to get to know him better (since he's virtually a stranger to a lot of my friends/family)...and then the question was asked of me, "Debbie, what's your favorite thing about him?"

Obviously I couldn't stop with one, but as I explained how this man had weaseled his way into the depths of my heart...I couldn't help but offer a thanks to the people who surrounded us. They were many people who had prayed for me and with me, cried with me, listened to me, challenged me, encouraged me and loved me as I struggled through the loneliness of singlehood...as I stood broken hearted through unrequited love or uncomfortable break-ups. And as I made phone calls and sent texts, I was reminded of the many others who had offered the hope of what could be as I often sat in the cynicisms of how love could never be what I wanted it to be.

I wish I had listened.
I wish I had believed.
And so, with tears in my eyes, my heart aches to tell the masses of how wonderful it truly is. How it's worth the wait. How hopeful it can be, even when there seem to be no prospects at all. How it's better than anything I could have ever wanted or imagined.

I wish you could listen.
I wish you would believe.
I wish, no matter how hopeless it can feel, that you might believe that someday it could happen for you. That you wouldn't settle for less than what it's supposed to be. Because it's supposed to be good. It's supposed to be a relationship that always points you back toward Jesus. It's supposed to be something that makes you feel like you could do anything. It's supposed to encourage, support, make you know the love of the Lord in a way that's often unbelievable. It's supposed to make you want to sacrifice, do things outside of yourself, to be someone better.

No, it's not perfect and it's not always easy...but it's about something infinitely bigger than us...and so it's better.

I feel blessed. Truly blessed.
Not just to have "finally"met The One, but to have met him exactly when I did. I have these years behind me filled with adventures, filled with opportunities for discipleship and ministry that I may not have had if I had met him any earlier. I have these passions and skills that have been developed and explored and I know more about who I am and who I want to be and what I want to do because I've had time to figure it out. I've had time to walk into it. I love that.

I love that the Lord is so good and knows me so much better than I know myself.
I love that He is so faithful and kind.
I love that He can take a broken, pessimistic, unbelieving heart and turn into it one that is more whole, more optimistic and more full of belief of who He is through His love.

I want that for you.
I want that for women and men who often feel discouraged in their singleness. I want, more than anything, for them to know that obedience to the Lord and following Him fully matters so much more than finding a spouse. And that, oftentimes, along the way, the Lord is going to bring about someone so much greater than all the relationships that we try to force upon ourselves. And, even if He doesn't, it's because He's got something better for us.

My life is drastically different than it was a year ago.
I'm still fumbling through things, trying to love Jesus more and others more through the way I live... but now I have someone to journey with. Sometimes that will make things easier and sometimes that will make things harder.

It's exciting.
And terrifying.
I can't even begin to imagine the bazillion changes in my life that are about to take place, but I never want to lose sight of the Lord, the one thing that's always mattered most in this world. My priority with that can't and won't change.

Keep waiting.
Keep running after the Lord, letting nothing deter you. Keep being honest and real about your frustrations and confusions and disappointment when it comes to relationships (whether you're in one or not)...but don't let it ever cause you to pause in your pursuit of Christ, in your quest to change the world because of what He has done for us.

Because He is a good God.
And He has changed my cynical, stone heart and has replaced it with love.

(Don't worry, I'll post another blog soon about how it all went down!)

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