"There's no other way." -the friend
"It makes me feel affirmed in my choice to always use a fork." -myself
"Debbie, why do you need her to affirm your choice of utensil for eating macaroni?" -our other friend
I'm always surprised when people choose to eat macaroni and cheese with a spoon. There's something strangely satisfying about pronging the individual noodles, and I find great comfort when others have the same tendencies as me. It's as though they are saying that the fork does make more sense than the spoon. They get my decision. They understand it. They support it. They even choose it for themselves. It's cool.
It's perhaps a really ridiculous example to illustrate how much I seek affirmation from others...but I think it makes the point. If I get excited about someone 'affirming' my utensil choice for macaroni and cheese, how much more excited do I get when people affirm my other life decisions? The answer is... a lot. And, the greater question is, how much more challenging is it for me when people don't affirm those decisions?
Because, I want people to like me.
And I want them to agree with me.
And I want them to understand why I make the decisions that I make and I want them to support me in those decisions. To a fault, sometimes. Sometimes I'm so honed in on what other people think, that I'm forgetting what I actually think in the process...and, more importantly, what the Lord thinks. I lose something valuable because I care too deeply about meeting the approval of others.
It's especially important that the people close to me, that the people I respect and care about the most...that they affirm me. I want them to be excited for me when I make big life changes...when I quit jobs, move across the country, travel all over the world, like a new guy or start dating someone, take new jobs, begin graduate school and then leave graduate school, feel like the Lord is moving in me in ways that I can't fully even comprehend myself. I want them to trust me...and to trust that, ultimately, the Lord has me.
But sometimes I find myself floundering, desperately affected by the lack of support from important people in my life. Because there's something important to having wise council from people that know you and love you... and there's something important to listening to what others have to say, especially when I could be missing something. But... sometimes they don't know.
I guess I'm realizing lately that not everyone is going to 'get it'. That often my decisions can seem crazy and ridiculous....sometimes even foolish. And as much as I want everyone to be on board, and as much as I want them to see things from my perspective, as much as I want them to understand the things I feel certain that the Lord is asking me to walk into or be a part of.... I can't.
Because sometimes He asks us to build an ark.
Or to dwindle down our armies as we face overwhelmingly large enemies.
Or to marry a prostitute.
Or to feed 5,000 people with a few fish and loaves of bread.
Or to walk when we've been paralyzed our entire lives.
Or to forgive those who have wronged us.... endless amounts of times.
And most of the time that stuff seems foolish to the rest of the world. It seems foolish because God didn't ask them and it goes against the things that we (as people) know, the things that are logical. They are things that don't make sense. Why wouldn't people question it?
I get it.
I don't blame them.
As much as I cringe when people mock me for 'never being able to leave camp' or how I've 'tried, but just can't get away'... I get it. I get how it looks, how it's perceived...but I'm starting to be okay with the fact that they may not really 'get it', either. They can't possibly. I hardly do myself.
But, I'm okay with it. I have to be.
I'm striving to be okay with stepping into things that I don't fully understand without 100% approval from the people around me. I want to do it with my eyes open, asking for advice and wisdom from those I trust...but, I don't want to be unwilling because I'm scared and because not everyone is completely on board.
Because that doesn't seem to be how God always works.
Sometimes people just don't get it.
We do crazy, foolish, radical things because we truly believe the Lord is in it and moving us that direction (as long as it lines up with Scripture, of course)... and they don't get it.
It's okay.
As much as I love when people affirm my fork choice for macaroni, I get that much more excited when people affirm the big decisions in my life. But when not everyone does? I'm going to have to choose to be okay with that, praying that eventually....over time....that maybe they will get it.
Because in the end, I care abundantly more about doing what is good and pleasing in the eyes of the Lord than anyone else. As much as I'd like to think those always line up with the people who I trust and respect in my life...I don't think they do or will. People are people.
They don't get it.
I mean, I don't always get it when other people do ridiculous things because of the Lord, either.
But, who am I to say any different?
Let's be people who are willing to walk obediently to the Lord's call, to the Lord's moving in our lives...even when they don't get it. Let's be willing to look foolish and ridiculous because we believe so fully in the faithfulness of the Lord that it makes everything worth it. And let's continue to invite them to join us in our endeavors to be more like Christ, not put off by their lack of understanding...but doing what we can to assemble those we trust around us as we move toward better. Not because we need the affirmation, but because it's pretty sweet to be surrounded by others who support us, encourage us, and choose to even embark on it themselves because they have come to believe so fully in it.
Let's not be discouraged.
But let's continue to walk obediently into whatever the Lord has for us, no matter how foolish it may seem.
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