They [girls] just need to realize that guys will be looking at them. Old dudes.It was my favorite part of a conversation I recently had with a group of guys about modesty.
*Groans*
The age-old topic of modesty again...really?
It's a battle of the sexes: men wanting women to wear more clothes to help them in their sexual struggles and women wanting men to get over their sexual struggles so they can wear whatever they want.
So--we come to a screeching halt. Who must give in? Can there ever be a compromise?
We women find ourselves in a world where the fashion trends are currently quite revealing. Unfortunately, this same world seems to be penetrating the minds of men from the moment they hit puberty until the day they die, flooded with an array of bodies they've seen slewed across billboards, playboys, the local swimming pool, facebook... you name it.
I think the reason modesty is addressed so frequently is that, when it comes down to it, women either don't care that guys struggle so much sexually or else they really aren't aware of how much their clothes can affect men.
Sure, it's true that different guys will struggle with different things so when we're asking what the line is, we're inevitably going to come out with different answers. I think the bigger thing is realizing that they do struggle and that it does matter. Perhaps it's also important to realize how we dress and present ourselves will also determine the types of guys that will find us attractive.
In college I remember one of my non-Christian guy friends telling me how he was going to date the one girl in the swimming pool who was wearing a one-piece bathing suit. It caught me off-guard because I thought that surely the more revealing and skimpily dressed girls would be the ones to catch his eye...
I'm probably a bit disappointed in the way Christian girls dress. Disappointed because I want us to care more about how our bodies affect all men of all ages. Disappointed because I think we've become numb to the fact that our cleavage, our butts, our stomachs can rouse men...disappointed because I think we're sometimes glad when it does.
I think we put our desire to feel desired above men and their desire for holiness and purity... a battle that isn't easily won. We put our desire for sin above their desire for good.
Because, at the end of the day... what benefit does it really have? What benefit does dressing any way that you want to have? Who does it actually benefit?
BUT, if you being more wary of your clothing has a positive impact on the men around you, on their struggle with sexual sin... in even the smallest way... isn't it worth it?
I wish we'd think so.
I wish I'd always think so.
Women... I encourage you to put away your push-up bras, your low-cut v-necks, your sleeveless t-shirts that show your entire sides, your short shorts, your leggings, your bikinis. Ask a friend or a mentor what is too much. Delete your sports illustrated swimsuit edition pictures off your social networking sites that only encourage guys to drool over you for all the wrong reasons.
And guess what? Even if you don't have the perfect body, you can still cause men to struggle. Don't ever let yourself be fooled by the 'ol 'well, because I don't look like __________ I can get away with wearing this without affecting guys'. Pish posh. A boob is still a boob, a butt is still a butt.
This is a battle I'd like to raise my white flag to.
Men, you can have this one. I know how difficult it is for you even when girls do attempt to dress modestly. I'd prefer to not make it more challenging.
So- you keep working on your own stuff with this... and maybe a few girls and I will work on being a little more cautious with how we dress.
I think you're worth more than wanting to look stylish and sexy from time to time.
Hopefully a few others out there will agree with me.
* * *
Your entries will remain anonymous
