There are a lot of 'nevers' mentioned as you attend wedding after wedding. I will never, ever do that...(you know, flowers, dresses, decorations, colors, themes, songs, etc., etc., etc.) and then, of course, there are the list of things you truly love and want as part of your special day. That list is often a lot smaller. At least it was for me.
Then there are the 'nevers' that arise when you think about being married to someone. I will never talk to my husband about going number two, was one of mine.
If there's one thing I've learned about wedding/marriage 'nevers', it's like most things in life: never say never.
I quickly became a person who:
- had an outdoor wedding when it was probably too hot
- had my bridesmaids buy dresses that they'll probably never wear again
- didn't allot enough time to get ready on my wedding day
- had a ceremony that was longer than 15 minutes
- spent more money than I wanted
- rushed out of the reception too early (but I at least I didn't stay too long...?)
- ...which then caused me to not see all the people I wanted to see/talk to
- had sparklers (but, I don't think the smoke was too bad...)
- had reds that didn't match
- saw friends and family the day after the wedding
- had to tell my husband when nature called (you sort of have to when the room on your honeymoon looks like this, with only a towel to barricade any possible view of my toileted self).
- wants to be around my spouse at all times, even when it means watching the Dallas Cowboys play at Buffalo Wild Wings for several hours.
The point?
Never say never.
You never really know how you're going to act, what's going to be necessary, what makes the most sense, what doesn't even matter... and yet, too often, we are people who are highly opinionated upon our righteous thrones of judgment. Especially a lone single ranger in the midst of many married friends. You get a lot of time to decide what's "good" and what's "bad". Most of the time I was just wrong.
I remember thinking how weird and awful it was when I saw a bride and groom the day after the wedding. "Don't they know that all we're thinking about is the fact that they just did it? Don't they know how awkward this is?!" My little naive brain would think to myself (and probably share with a few others, of course). And yet, I suggested a brunch with our families the day after the wedding. A special intimate time with them, to share in the joy together, to wrap up any loose ends before heading out on our honeymoon, to laugh, to actually get a chance to say good-bye and thank you. I wouldn't have had it any other way.
Be wary of letting your nevers get in the way of life and wedding bliss. Be wary of letting your pride (even over the littlest things) affect your joy. Nothing really has to be a certain way. You get to decide how you handle the last minute cancellations, the time flying by too quickly, the dresses that you love but know aren't practical for anything more than a wedding.
It's a good day. Even when it all doesn't come together exactly the way you wanted it or even when things happen that you never wanted... it's okay. And marriage continues to be a beautiful thing, even when I'm sharing parts of myself that are no where close to sexy and even when I am doing things I don't love. There's something powerful about being known, even the ugliest parts of me...and there's something wonderful about seeking to enjoy the things my husband does.
But it's rarely what you expect.
And so, I pray above all else, that when people look back at our wedding that they don't care about the colors, or the flowers, or the swarm of mosquitos, or the sound not working, or the ring bearer crying in terror as he ran down the aisle, or a bride and a groom. I pray that they remember the goodness of the Lord. That they remember the Lord's faithfulness. That they remember a night where we got to worship, to celebrate, to acknowledge what the Lord has done. A night filled with reminders of God's redemption in all of our lives, as we look to Him.
And I pray, above all else, that when people look at our marriage... that they see a man loving his bride as Christ loved the Church. And a woman respecting her husband and treating him as better than herself. A marriage that reflects the Gospel.
The 'nevers' only really matter when they're in direct opposition to what the Gospel calls us to.
I pray that all of you are better than me at keeping all of this in perspective.
Very little matters in this world... very little about your wedding and your relationships (and your life) matter if Christ isn't at the center of it all. Actually, none of it does without Him.
Your entries will remain anonymous
No comments:
Post a Comment