After most interactions and conversations with him, my head is swirling...often wondering why he's chosen me and recognizing that his impact among men will be great. In fact, I think he should be the one writing a blog about how to handle irrational, 'crazy' girls in the most loving, gentle way. In a way that warrants the upmost respect from me in return.
I told him last night that I want everyone to have what we have. I don't want anyone to settle for less than how good this is. And, honestly, I think 99.9% of why it's so incredible stems from him (and ultimately the Lord).
As much as I believe that he's one-of-a-kind and there's no one else in the world like him, I know that there are men who have the same sort of integrity and character. Men that are good. Men that are worth waiting for.
Here are some of the things he does:
- Listens. No matter how tired he is, no matter what he's got going on, no matter how ridiculous I am... he listens. He wants to know about my day, he wants to know the thoughts that have crossed my mind, he wants to know even the most irrational of things so that he can better gauge where I'm at in the moment and how to meet me there.
- Supports. In a short amount of time, he has become my number one advocate...encouraging me to pursue my dreams and making sure that our future plans always incorporate the things that I am also most passionate about. He believes in me.
- Affirms. He reminds me daily that he loves me...multiple times a day. He tells me I'm beautiful, he never withholds his excitement about sharing the rest of his life with me. His compliments extend to my character as he values the way that I inspire him and encourage him on a daily basis.
- Asks for honesty and is honest in return. No matter the subject at hand, I know he wants this from me. He wants to know what I truly think, how I truly feel...and he offers up the same.
- He is slow to become angry. He longs to understand in the midst of conflict, before immediately jumping to his defense or becoming an attacking offense. He will never leave a conversation until we have worked through it, longing to love me better through the miscommunication or the differing points of view...never allowing me to run from him so that I can wallow and throw my own pity party.
- Sacrifices. As much as he loves me, he loves the Lord abundantly more. He works hard, serves well, goes out of his way to interact with those in need. It's not about him, and his life reflects that.
- Receives critique. He welcomes in ways to grow, ways to get better, ways to be more like Jesus. He'll acknowledge that he is imperfect and how wonderfully blessed he is by the Lord's grace in his life, but he is constantly striving to follow Christ no matter the cost. He is willing to change.
I'm marrying a patient, good man.
And I know that I'm in the world of engaged bliss and I don't know the hardships of what marriage and kids might bring... but I do know that I have someone to partner with that I don't question or doubt. A man who will always point me back toward the source of life, a man who will always remind me of what I was created to be...of who the Lord says that I am. A man who will seek to love me, respect me and support me for all of our days. A man who I can laugh with, talk about stupid things with, be myself around, share my heart with. In fact, I truly believe that it will only get better despite the hardship we might face.
I know you might very well be rolling your eyes at my gushing and droning on about this and remarking about naivety when it comes to relationships, but I want you to believe that it might be possible for you, too. I want you to believe that even if you're in the midst of a hard marriage. I want you to believe that this might be a reality within marriage. That marriage could also be this good. There's still time to recover, to heal, for people to change and become better lovers of the Lord and of each other. There's still time to hope.
I know all relationships look different. I know that how people receive and give love are different. But, I think there are some core things that we should never be willing to give up, to forego, to have to spend our whole lives working through. There's still a God who loves us and who has painted a really beautiful picture of marriage and what it intended to look like... and He is a God who is on our side as we seek reconciliation, connection, and unconditional love from each other.
My fiance is not perfect, our relationship isn't perfect, we still have to talk through and work through things... but it's good. Our relationship is good....because it's rooted in Jesus.
There are men who love Jesus. Men who let that define their existence.
It transforms everything when they do.
If you're anxious about getting married....wait until you find that man for you. A man who is willing to let Jesus radically change his entire life (even in the little things)...and as a result, change your life in the process. Maybe that means making some hard adjustments in your life... but, I promise it's better than co-existing in a relationship that constantly drains you, a relationship brings guilt and confusion, a relationship that causes you to question who the Lord is and who the Lord says that you are.
Don't settle.
Let's be people who truly let the Lord change us. People who are transformed by Scripture. People who are transformed by the Gospel.
We may not be perfect people...but we don't have to let that be our excuse for living a life of mediocrity. We can still do a lot of things right, especially when we are seeking the Lord and desiring to be obedient. Striving for better and living in grace..
This matters.
Your entries will remain anonymous
No comments:
Post a Comment