I think most of the time all of our answers join in a resounding, 'YES!'
BUT, before we get ahead of ourselves--I'd venture to say that there are can be a few instances where we enjoy gossip...especially when it helps us out.
You know what I'm talking about. I believe there are quite a few movies with this as the premise and there have probably been a few occasions where we hoped this would be true of our own lives. It's especially hilarious when we try to start our own chains of gossip about ourselves.
For example: telling enough people about our current crush so that it will eventually get to the object of our affection's ears.
This is a typical move for the single Christian girl for a few reasons:
- It makes us feel like we aren't pursuing.
- It allows us to express interest without really putting ourselves out there for rejection.
- We can deny the rumors and accredit them to simple gossip... basically we can lie more easily.
I think this is a bogus move that we try to pull. It's ultimately a move of manipulation and control. It's almost as though crushes should fall under the 'ol 'don't kiss and tell' rule.
If you're going to tell everyone but the guy that you like that you like him, I wouldn't consider that not pursuing. He's going to find out and you know it. You want him to- you just don't want to be the one to mention it to him. You're hoping that he'll hear about it through the grapevine, and suddenly, once he has been awakened by the realization of your feelings toward him, he will pursue you and you'll end up happily ever after. Right? Maybe it's not so extreme, but you've probably gone somewhere within that vicinity.
Maybe the more people you tell, the more advice you get and the more of a chance you'll have with him? Maybe the more people you tell, the more they will try to talk to you up to him and then he'll be more interested?
Gosh... there are all sorts of possibilities, aren't there?
I had a guy friend recently tell me about a girl who was telling everyone that she liked him but wouldn't come and talk to him about it. The result? Awkwardness, uncomfortableness... and here's why: He wasn't interested. If he had been, he would have pursued her already, he would have wanted to hang out with her and get to know her more.
The truth about us gossip faces when it comes to telling others about our crush?
- It's a manipulative way of pursuing. Guys would much rather you be honest and straight-forward with them from the get-go. It speaks of your character. If you want a guy to know you like him, tell him. If you don't want to pursue a guy, don't. Be willing to wait patiently and not try to put things into your own time-table or package.
- You'll still feel the rejection just as much as you would in talking to him directly, perhaps even more so. More so because not only are you ever aware of the rejection, but you'll be answering to the thousands of friends you've told about your crush who are just dying to hear how it ended up. Instead of licking your wounds in the company of a few good friends, you'll need to be prepared to tell yet another acquaintance that he just wasn't that into you...
- Lying is stupid.
- Your telling everyone about your crush can affect him in bad ways, too. Think about it.
Like anything, there are always exceptions. There are always going to be a few instances where this works, and, unfortunately, these tend to be the stories that we latch onto and hope for. I guess all I'm saying is... be careful with your words, be careful of who you are telling things to, and be careful of your motivation. Be a woman who is willing to be patient, honest...and willing to let go and move on from a guy if he's just not showing any interest, instead of desperately searching for ways to win him over.
Let it hurt, mourn the loss... and then rest in the fact that there is hope.
Oh... and don't forget that movies aren't real.
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